Jokes Bucket

Reasons computers must be male

1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

2. A better model is always just around the corner.

3. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.

4. It is always necessary to have a backup.

5. They’ll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.

6. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

7. The lights are on but nobody’s home.

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They can’t change light bulbs… Without light, they can’t read the manual, and without the manual, they can’t figure out how to change the light bulb.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Wait! Maybe the bulb isn’t broken. Let’s try it again.

Q: How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Seven. One to write the pseudocode, another to design the requisite peripherals, another three to code various sections of the main routine, another to sort out the memory conflicts, and Bill Gates to justify earning such swingeing fees…

Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with

sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was

completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A

silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the
only
remaining part of the house left above the floor. The rescue
squad rushed
to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting
there in the tub,
talking to herself.
“It was the most amazing
thing … it was the most amazing thing.”
she kept repeating dazedly.

“What was the most amazing thing, Ma’am?” asked one of the
rescuers.
“I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did
was
pull the plug and dog-gone-it if the whole house didn’t suddenly
drain
away.”

What do freezing rain and cake icing have in

common?

Both are a glaze

A reporter cornered George W.
Bush at a
press conference:

“Many say the only reason why you would be
elected for President is
due to the enormous power and influence of
your father.”

“That notion is ridiculous!” mocked George Jr. “It
doesn’t matter
how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!”

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