What kind of ant is good at maths ?
An
accountant !
Why do
accountants make good lovers?
They’re great with figures.
A patient was at her doctor’s office after
undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, “I have some
very grave
news for you. You only have six months to
live.”
The patient asked, “Oh doctor, what should I do?”
The doctor
replied, “Marry an accountant.”
“Will that make me live longer?”
asked the patient.
“No,” said the doctor, “but it will SEEM
longer.”
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping
and goes to see
his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at
night.”
“Have you tried counting sheep?”
“That’s the
problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours
trying to find
it.”
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed
robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the
tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up
against
a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.
While this is
going on accountant number one jams something in
accountant number
two’s hand. Without looking down, accountant number two
whispers, “What
is this?” to which accountant number one replies,
“it’s that $50 I
owe you.”
