Jokes Bucket

A biologist from the North Pole was showing
a new
recruit the ropes of a polar bear radio tracking program. The
new
recruit said, “I know how the transmitters work, but I have one

question–how do you catch the polar bears in the first place?” “I
bet you use
high-powered tranquilizer dart guns, right?”
“Oh
no!” the experienced biologist replied, “we use an ancient
Eskimo
technique, developed centuries ago. First, we dig a huge hole in the

ice. Next, we place a circle of green peas all the way around the hole.

Then, we go hide behind some ice blocks and wait. Finally, when a
polar
bear comes up to take a pea, we kick him in the ice-hole
!!!”

An 8th grade boy was doing some
research
for his career report at school. He asks his dad, “Father, how
many
wildlife biologists work for the Federal Government?”

“The
honest father replies, “Oh, I would say at least half of
‘em.”

Dan had been studying whales for over 20

years and had made some thrilling breakthroughs regarding their

communication. He had managed to decode many of their underwater sounds
and to
translate them into English. His latest research had proved
that they
can communicate over a distance of 300 miles. When asked
what could they
possibly have to say at such distances he replied,

“As best as we can figure, it is something like - Hey, can you
hear me
now?

A young wildlife biologist got fired from
his first real
wildlife job. Upon his return home, his parents asked
him what happened.

“You know what a crew boss is?” he asked.
“The one who stands around
and watches everyone else work.”

“What’s that got to do with it?” they asked.

“Well, he just got
jealous of me,” the young biologist explained.
“Everyone thought I
was the crew boss.”