Jokes Bucket

Helen: Mum, do you know what I’m going to

give you for your birthday?
Mum: No, dear, what ?
Helen: A nice
teapot.
Mum: But I’ve got a nice teapot.
Helen: No you haven’t.
I’ve just dropped it.

Charley wanted to buy Farley a
birthday
cake, but he couldn’t figure out how to get the cake in the

typewriter so he could type ‘Happy Birthday’

The housewife answered a knock on the door
and found
a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
‘Excuse me
for disturbing you, ma’am,’ he said politely, ‘ but I
pass your
house every morning on my way to work, and I’ve noticed that
every
day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of

bread!’
‘That’s right.’
‘Every day you wallop him on the head
with a loaf of bread, and yet
this morning you were hitting him
with a chocolate cake….?’
‘Well, today is his birthday!’

What does a clam do on
his birthday?

He shellabrates!