Jokes Bucket

Boss: “I can assure you that the value of the

average employee will continue to increase.”
Employee: “That’s
because there will be fewer of us doing more work,
right?”

Boss: “Right. Except for the ‘us’ part.”

Boss: “I’ve decided to use humor in the
office. Experts say humor
eases tension, which is important in times
when the work force is being
trimmed.
“Knock knock.”

Employee: “Who’s there?”
Boss: “Not you anymore.”

After being laid off from five
different
jobs in four months, Arnold was hired by a warehouse. One day he

lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying

the damage, the owner shook his head and said he’d have to withhold

ten percent of Arnold’s wages to pay for the repairs. “How much
will it
cost?” asked Arnold. “About $4,500,” said the owner.

“What a relief!” exclaimed Arnold. ‘I’ve finally got job

security!”

A businessman who needed millions of dollars
to
clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money.

By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an

urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100
into the
other man’s hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the
church.The
businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, “And now,
Lord, that I have
your undivided attention …. “

‘I’m very sad to announce this morning,
girls, that
Miss Jones has decided to retire,’ said the principal at
morning
assembly. ‘ Now we will all stand and sing this morning’s
hymn….now
Thank We All Our God.’