Jokes Bucket

A
Mississippi professor was at a party and
became indignant when asked if
college professors were
absent-minded.

“Professors haven’t got bad memories,” he declared.
“They’re not
absent-minded. Don’t you think I know where I am right now,
and don’t
you think tomorrow I’ll know where I was last night?
Would somebody
like to ask me another question?”

“Yes,” said
another guest. “Is it true that professors are
absent-minded and
have bad memories?”

“Good!” said the professor. “I knew sooner or
later somebody would
ask me that question.”

Mrs. McKenzie was showing Corbett, the
contractor,
through the second floor of her new house to show him what
colors to paint
the rooms. “I’d like the bathroom done in white!”

Corbett walked over to the window and shouted, “Green up! Green
up!”

“I want the bedroom in blue!” continued the woman.

The contractor listened and yelled out the window, “Green up! Green

up!”

“The halls should be done in beige!” she instructed.
Again, the man
barked out the window, “Green up! Green up!”

“Will you stop that?!” shouted the woman. “Every time I give you a

color, all you do is shout ‘Green up!’ What the devil does that

mean?”

‘Tm real sorry, ma’am!” explained Corbett. “But I got three

Oklahoma basketball players down there tryin’ to put in the front
lawn!”

A survey was being taken on the University of

Arizona campus.

The survey taker asked a soccer player,
“What do you think of
bilingualism?”

“Oh, I think it’s okay,”
said the boy, “if it’s between consenting
adults.”

Arvil was coming out of the Texas University
student building when he
was stopped by two coeds.

“Would
you like to become a Jehovah’s Witness?” asked one of the
girls.

“No, I really couldn’t. I didn’t see the accident.”

Professor: I forgot to take
my umbrella
this morning.

Wife: When did you first miss it, dear?

Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had

stopped.

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