A coffin was being moved
when it
fell off a wagon, and started down the hill. One of the
morticians
started chasing it. As it rolled past the hospital, the mortician
yelled to one of the nurse practitioners walking by, “Doc, quick, give
me
something to stop this coffin.”
“Doctor, doctor!” said the
panic-stricken woman,
“my husband was asleep with his mouth open, and he’s
swallowed a
mouse! What shall I do?”
“Quite simple,” said the
doctor calmly. “You just tie a lump of
cheese to a piece of string and
lower it into your husband’s mouth. As
soon as the mouse takes a
bite haul it out.”
“Oh, I see. Thank you, doctor. I’ll go around to
the fishmonger
straight away and get a cod’s head.”
“What do
you want a cod’s head for?”
“Oh- I forgot to tell you. I’ve got to
get the cat out first!”
1) Why did the nurse keep the bedpan
in the
refrigerator?
Because when she kept it in the freezer it
took too much skin off.
The ninety-year-old man was in for
his checkup when the nurse practitioner learned he was about to marry
an
eighteen year old girl. “Now, Mr. Jenkins,” the nurse
practitioner
warned, “you should know that when a man your age marries an
eighteen-year-old girl, somebody could get hurt.” The old man
shrugged, “If she
dies, she dies.”
Jack: “My brother was sick and
went to the doctor.”
John: “Is he feeling better now?”
Jack: “No,
he has a broken arm.”
John: “How did he break it?”
Jack: “Well,
the doctor gave him a prescription and told him no matter
what
happened, to follow that prescription. And the prescription blew
out of
the window.”
John: “How did he break his arm?”
Jack: “He fell out
of the window trying to follow the
prescription.”
