Jokes Bucket

Why was the farmer
hopping mad ?

Because someone had trodden on his corn !

Did you hear about the farmer’s boy who hated

the country ? He went to the big city and got a job as a shoeshine
boy
and so the farmer made hay while the sun shone !

A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned
farm
with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields
were grown
over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the
fences were
broken down. During his first day of work, the town
preacher stops by to
bless the man’s work, saying, “May you and God
work together to make
this the farm of your dreams!” A few months
later, the preacher stops
by again to call on the farmer. Lo and
behold, it’s a completely
different place. The farm house is
completely rebuilt and in excellent
condition, there is plenty of cattle and
other livestock happily munching on
feed in well-fenced pens, and
the fields are filled with crops planted
in neat rows. “Amazing!”
the preacher says. “Look what God and you
have accomplished
together!” “Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, “but
remember what the farm was
like when God was working it alone!”

A Texan farmer goes
to Australia for a
vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets
talking. The Aussie
shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,
“Oh! We have
wheat fields that are at least twice as large”.

Then they walk
around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his
herd of cattle.
The Texan immediately says, ” We have longhorns that
are at least
twice as large as your cows”.

The conversation has, meanwhile,
almost died when the Texan sees a herd
of kangaroos hopping through
the field. He asks, “And what are
those”?

The Aussie asks
with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any
grasshoppers in
Texas”?

Q: When is a farmer like a magician?
A: When
he turns his cow to pasture.

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