Jokes Bucket

When the employees of a
restaurant
attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official

demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. “Pull the pin like a

hand grenade,” he explained, “then depress the trigger to release the

foam.”
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled
fire in the
parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the
pin.
The instructor hinted, “Like a hand grenade, remember?”
In a
burst of confidence she pulled the pin — and hurled the

extinguisher at the blaze.

Q. What does CHAOS stand
for?
A.
The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.

During a big fire downtown the firemen
were having a bit of
trouble. A woman was stuck on the fourth floor
with her baby. The fire
fighters instructed her to toss the child out
the window, under which they
had placed a net, but the mother
refused. Things looked grim until a
tall, well-built black man burst
through the crowd and shouted to the
women. He said that he was a
professional football player and that he
could catch the baby safely.
After a few minutes more of reassurances by
the man, the mother
finally let the child drop.
The football player made a breathtaking
catch, and everybody cheered.
At that moment the man suddenly raised
the child high in the air, spiked
it on the ground and yelled,
“TOUCHDOWN!!”

A fire broke out in a six story apartment

building last week in a near by town. A blonde, a redhead, and a

brunette escaped the flames by climbing up onto the roof.
When the
fire department arrived they got out a blanket held it up and
the
Chief called out to the brunette to jump into the blanket.
The
brunette jumped. As she was falling ’swoosh’ the firefighters
pulled
the blanket away and she landed on the street like a brick.
The
firefighters then held the blanket back up and the Chief told the
redhead
to jump.
“No way! I saw what you did to my friend.” exclaimed the
redhead.
“I am sorry” said the Chief, “My wife was a brunette and she

divorced me. I just don’t like brunettes. We have no problems with

redheads….jump it’s your only chance.”
So the redhead jumped.
On the way down ’swoosh’ the firefighters
pulled the blanket away
and she hit the pavement like a tomato!”
The firefighters a
gain held up the blanket and the Chief told the
blonde to jump.
The fire was getting worse and her only chance of survival
was to
jump.
“No I am not jumping. I saw what you did to my two
friends.”
“I’m sorry” said the Chief, “I explained what happened to the

brunette and when the redhead jumped we were a little distracted. It will

not happen again, just jump!”
The blonde thought for a moment. “OK
I’ll jump - but first I want you
to lay the blanket on the ground,
back away, and then I’ll jump into
it.”

Two fellows were sitting in a coffee
shop…suddenly
the Town’s Fire Alarm went off … one jumped up and
headed for the
door … his friend shouted, “Hey, Tom, I didn’t know
you were a
fireman!”
Tom replied, “I’m not, but my
girlfriend’s husband is…”

Newer Entries »