Jokes Bucket

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in
the
cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a
huge bear,
shot at it but only wounded it.

The enraged bear
charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started
running for the
cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the
bear was just
a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as
he
reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.

Too close
behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling
into the
cabin.

The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his
friend
inside, “You skin this one while I go and get another!”

A hunter visited another hunter
and was
given a tour of his home. Ibn the den was a stuffed lion. The
visiting
hunter asked, “when did you bag him?”

The host said, “that was
three years ago, when I went hunting with my
wife.”

“What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter.

“My wife.”

Two hunters
got a pilot to fly them into
the far north for elk hunting. They were
quite successful in their
venture and bagged six big bucks. The pilot
came back, as arranged,
to pick them up. They started loading their gear
into the plane,
including the six elk. But the pilot objected and he
said, “The plane
can only take four of your elk; you will have to leave
two behind.”
They argued with him; the year before they had shot six
and the
pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same
model
and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to
put
all six aboard. But when the attempted to take off and leave the

valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the

wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to
the other, “Do you
know where we are?”

“I think so,” replied
the other hunter. I think this is about the
same place where
we landed last year!”

Two guys
are out hunting deer. The first
guy says, “Did you see that?”

“No,” the second guy
says.

“Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead,” the first guy says.

“Oh,”
says the second guy.

A couple of minutes later, The first guy
says, “Did you see that?”

“See what?” the second guy
asks.

“Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over

there.”

“Oh.”

A few minutes later the first guy says:
“Did you see that?”

By now, the second guy is getting
aggravated, so he says, “Yes, I
did!”

And the first guy says: “Then
why did you step in it?”

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new

bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually
walk
on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure
none of
his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to
try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal
pessimist who
refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would
impress
him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they
waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and
a duck
fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog,

however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the

bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day
long;
each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the
water
to retrieve it.

The pessimist watched carefully, saw
everything, but did not say a
single word.

On the drive
home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice
anything unusual
about my new dog?”

“I sure did,” responded the pessimist. “He
can’t swim.”

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