Jokes Bucket

On a
flight to Florida, I was preparing my
notes for one of the parent-education
seminars I conduct as an
educational psychologist.

The elderly woman sitting next to me
explained that she was returning
to Miami after having spent two weeks
visiting her six children, 18
grandchildren and ten
great-grandchildren in Boston.

Then she inquired what I did for a
living.

I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional

advice.

Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said,
“If there’s
anything you want to know, just ask me.”

When our second child was on the way, my wife
and I
attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at

least one child.

The instructor raised the issue of breaking the
news to the older
child. It went like this:

“Some parents,”
she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you so
much we decided to
bring another child into this family.’ But think
about that.
Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said,
‘Honey, I love
you so much I decided to bring home another wife.’”

One of the
women spoke up immediately. “Does she cook???”

“Papa, who was Hamlet?”
“You birdbrain!
Bring me the Bible and I’ll show you who he
was.”

Young Bobby was
being fitted for glasses,
and his father, standing beside him, said,
“Now, remember, son.
Don’t wear them when you’re not looking at
anything.”

Father:
Don’t you think our son gets his
brains from me?
Mother: Probably, dear. I still have all of mine.

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